It is so strange how the simplest things can effect us in the greatest ways. Be it a picture, a song, a scent, it seems that memories come flooding back at the most inconvenient times. Not that the memories are always bad. No, rarely ever are they bad. They are wonderful. But that is the trouble. What do you do when the past returns? What's worse - What do you do when it makes you wish for different things? When you think you are over something, but you realize that maybe, just maybe. . . you aren't. Yes, I understand that we don't completely move past everything, especially not matters of the heart. But how can you tell if your fond reminiscing is more than that? I could go off on this whole spiel about falling in love and heartbreak, but I will spare you the wild tangent, and attempt to be discretely obvious. The truth is, I have been thinking alot about the past. I find myself listening to music soaked in memories of the things I know I should have moved past. I guess in a vain attempt to gain some clarity, I am trying to provoke feelings that I shouldn't have. That made so much more sense in my head. I am so terribly confused about what I am feeling. And yes, this is a frequent occurrence for me, so I am not looking for any comsolation. I realize that the only person who can figure out what I want is myself. Yadda Yadda Yadda, shut up. But at the same time, all of these substitues for emotions have taken such a toll on me, that I believe I am beginning to think up my own elaborate happenings in order to avoid the reality of the situation. The reality is - I don't know what is going on in my life, my head, my heart. I can't make sense of any of this. I just want for things to be easier and to work themselves out so that I can finally sleep again. They say that time heals all things, but how long will it take? How long must I wait?