Ok, let's just say it /was/ a good day. School was pretty awesome for a school day. I went to art during one of my free periods and Sunshine was all happy to see me. We listened to MCR and Dashboard. Tomorrow he's going to help me with the nose on my painting. In physics and art ninth period I got to spend most of the time just talking to Brenda and texting Kat. It's nice to talk to someone who isn't so rash about everything. We were reminissing about stuff and being dorks. Bryan said hi to me in the hall today. It was nice stuff. Brenda even bitched someone out and it made me giggle because it's something I wish I'd had the courage to do for about six months. I went home figuring everything was going to be alright. Time comes for EPAC and I'm driving there and kept skidding almost off the round. I feel like my ears are going to fall off because Mom was literally SCREAMING at me. I was so irritated and the screaming only made me more frantic and skidding more. She kept going on and on about how my car insurance is going to be 1,500 dollars every six fucking months because she won't just let me drive her car. I was nearly hyperventilating. She kept going on and on about how I need a job and how the hell could I possably get one when I'm at play rehearsal 24/7. About halfway there, shit hit the fan and I couldn't go and I got all choked up because as soon as I got there I'd have to dance because half an hour of it is dancing class. The lady singles me out because I have no coordination and can't dance worth shit. I'm supposed to memorize a dance routine and then merge it with FIVE other dance routines, but the thing is I CAN'T. Like physically my body does not have the compatibility to do any sort of free-form activity like dancing. I'm so awkward it's embarassing. I pretty much parked and told her she might as well ask for her money back because I couldn't go in there and attempt to dance again. Damnit. The day turned to shit fast. I'm going to call and e-mail Mr. Graves and tell him I'll do the chorus for Seusical and help out wherever possable. Mom said I should ask for a late audition, but she doesn't understand that the cast list has already been posted so it wouldn't matter. I might as well ease back in and help out though. She said she'll write him too if I want and apologize because she pushed me into doing EPAC. I'm so pissed because no one told me how much of it required knowledge of dance. Seriously, a couple girls there are preparing their auditions for JULIARD. ACK. Then again she went into how I need a job and how when I get my car I'm not allowed to have ANYONE in it for six months and I can't drive with Rachel. Alright, so now add onto the car insurance double the gas money I would have had because me and Rachel can't switch off to get there and back to rehearsal. She's going to have to pay gas money for me driving to rehearsals because I could just as easily catch rides with Rachel and it's her own choice not to let me drive LITERALLY seven minutes to the school on the route we know by heart. She makes NO sense. But yeah, if I have a job which she's going to MAKE me get, I won't have any time at home and then how will I talk to anyone?! I'm so so so mad. You have no idea how stressed I am right now. By the way, if I can get a job at the video store come September, I'll be working say going from school so 3:00-6:30 then RIGHT to play rehearsal from 6:30-9:00 EVERY night and then come the two weeks before rehearsals go till 11:00. I am not going to have a life. I have homework I'll need to do Sundays and I have no idea how I'll squeeze in college applications and visits. So much for having friends or talking to anyone. Come six months, my life is about to be complete hell. Things keep getting more and more miserable. I don't know when the downspiral started, but it hasn't stopped. Let's just hope I have somewhere to go come July because that's the only thing that's keeping me happy right now. Wipe kitten off my list because people can't just be happy for me. No, they have to convince my parents they're RADICALS for getting a cat. Honestly! By the way, I'd appreciate if you didn't blow this out of proportion and go squealing to my parents things that aren't true. I update this for people who are genuwinely curious about the happenings of my life and so I have somewhere to vent. You know who you are and telling my mom things she already knows about me and knows accuratly just makes you look like you're butting into things that don't concern you. Not a good way to earn trust. I also don't appreciate my "friends" who read my entries and automatically take offense or assume that it's about them. The good 95% shouldn't be flattering themselves that I care that much. Most of my life is personal issues that are dealing with people that don't even attend M-E. Alright. Hope I haven't severally injured anyone's egos. I need a nap and more meds so I don't PMS on anyone else tonight... Kat definatly doesn't deserve me to be in a nasty mood tonight when known of this is her fault. Heh. Comment if you actually have something INTELLIGENT to say.