11:09 Monday Night The differences with this guy versus the other one: I'm not afraid to be alone with him. Even after all this time I still have things to talk about with him (and it's not even dodgy). Don't feel the need to be always making out with him even though he is a better kisser. He respects his family. I can share church experiences with him, since he is there too. I'm not trying to suppress my feelings of disgust with him (hehe, I feel free to outwardly express my disgust with him). I truly for real think he's one of the most handsome men I've ever met. Don't check out other guys (as much, haha. but really. i always prefer the one I've got.) Not feeling obligated to say "i love you" even though i'd like to sometimes. Is there anything in this relationship that I preferred the other one to? Hmmm. Seriously? I can't think of anything. I've just needed to voice this for some time. It just feels too cliche. that you always say "oh this is the one," until it's over. "oh this time i feel different." "I've never liked anyone as much as i like him." except in this case i have liked someone as much as him. the internet guy. Just in a different way. An imaginary real boyfriend, in a weird way. It's just so hard. and i really hope it's special and that when he comes to visit I'll be hit with the same feeling when i see him as i am hit with now. And i just really want it to be special. And all this talking about fish, sex, and earthquakes. I want to carry that on until we're 82 and don't even know what sex is anymore. Until our kisses don't even swap saliva. And I hope we're always talking and I hope we always hold hands.