Saturday, 2:59 p.m.   Day. Effing. One [written in airport terminal in slc] Hey. It's official. Today or tomorrow, I leave the country. Bigger and better things or something. I'm not used to writing on paper. It's hard on the hands. I wish I could just relax my arms but that takes too long. My thoughts come too fast for that, and it takes too much effort to make my writing smaller to take up less space on the page. Airports are lonely places. At least when you're driving a car by yourself you can think or listen to music unobstructed and you're forced to pay close attention to your surroundings. Here it's so loud and busy you can hardly think. People travel usually alone or with family, not with friends on normal occasion. I feel so sorry for the ones travelling alone...although you can meet cool people in airports, hmm. With your family, on the other hand, you don't socialize. at. all. It's -just- family. "here watch my bags" "okay" I guess parents/married couples can talk to each other and stuff seeing as how they're in love (or supposed to be). As a kid, however, I depend more on my friends. Or myself. I suppose thats why I pulled out a pencil and this old journal. To talk to myself. Well, journal? My butt kinda hurts and I'm effing lonely. Scott didn't call this morning. Yeah, I'm kinda disappointed.. And when Dan and Nicole visited yesterday when I was on the phone with him (dumb payphone cut us off, so we didn't talk long), it made me miss him so much more. but I'm glad they came. CJ never stopped by either. Oh well, perhaps it's better this way. This book I'm reading hurts my brain. I think it's supposed to. I keep seeing these beautiful girls in their brand-name clothes and perfectly pouffed hair and perfectly plastic faces. It's like attack of the Barbies. Okay fine I'm jealous because I have zits. shut up. I'm serious though, they all seem plastic and chock full of effing polaroid memories. damn them...=D later. Teresa. now. Sometimes it feels like my soul is flickering. It worries me because it used to be blazing, and perhaps if someone blew on my soul hard enough, it would go out. I've been thinking about you all day...my nose has been itching have you been thinking of me? Clouds reminded me of you, people kissing in airports reminded me of you, you know. Thinking about anything reminded me of you. has your nose been itching too? ----------------- 11:10 p.m. Crackling electric wires buzzing in the night air, stars obscured by light polution, bad restaurants with worse service, people who don't know how to drive.... I hate it here. I want Fiji and I want it now. oh so yeah. 11 hours. on a flight. w00t. We skip a whole day. I'll never live through July 12. We leave July 11 at 11:30 at night and get there on July 13 at 5:30 in the morning! yay. I miss j00.