10:46 Monday Night sometimes a girl needs to feel wanted. it's good to feel wanted in an "i want to be with you because you're awesome" sense. That's the best kind of wanting. but sometimes a girl needs to feel physically wanted like, "i want to screw your brains out" kind of wanted. Even though we'd not do anything about that sort of wanting except maybe make out, but... am I a gross-out for wanting to be sexually attractive like that? Does he like me as much as I like him? Do I like him as much as he likes me? when we do make out on those rare occasions, is he even enjoying himself? I was originally going to write this entry about ... about running away. I wrote the title and picked the mood and suddenly I'm like "feeling wanted" He says my lips are perfect. He says everything about me is perfect. He says that I wouldn't think he was perfect if I knew everything that went on inside his head. I say the same could be said about me. He says he loves me. only on occasion. it's not an obligatory thing. now that it's known it doesn't need tobe said. i like it this way. Peg said that sometimes things work out like this because they have to end. If I wasn't going home would we feel the same? My chin is dimpling. my nostrils are flaring. My eyes are stinging. A frown is slowly etching its way onto my face. deep breaths. I'm going to talk to him about it tomorrow. I need to write a note to put into his present. He can wear it when we run away. I will wear a dress. We can pretend we're escaping...from...anything. We can pretend anyone is after us and we need to get away. Someday we'll run away. this is the longest entry i've written in this diary since i started writing in advertisement. I wonder if anyone reads this anymore. I don't need, like, "oh hey i read it still" comments. It's better just to wonder.