I’m not too sure if it’s the effect of my week long tiredness, or that coupled with the various blend of lively and morose music I’m listening to right now, but I’m finding it rather hard to write without my thought process being interrupted; it took me twenty minutes at least to try and finish this sentence.

I had a job interview in London earlier this week - on Wednesday in fact, for a company named ‘acquisition though online marketing’, or more appropriately called ‘Atom42’. After four persevering months without an interview, this one single opportunity reminded me just how easy it actually is to be offered a chance of showing the more elaborately positioned businessmen - and women of this world, how good you would be for their company’s ego.

To do just that, I spent a few days before the interview regurgitating the advertising knowledge I half-heartedly learnt while at University and in doing so was further reminded how tea is also a substance of caffeine; I did not envy still being wide awake come 4am the morning of my interview. Nevertheless, I’m sure the combination of nerves and excitement alone would’ve resulted in an equally inadequate amount of sleep.

I woke up on time, so as far as I was concerned, it was a morning going well. I spent the hour’s journey to London listening to calm music and repeating in my mind everything I had studied regarding ‘Search Engine Marketing’ – the position I had applied for.

The location of Atom42’s office was close to the heart of London’s main shopping arena, Oxford Circus, and was surrounded by other grandly designed buildings which were home to a popular Fashion Academy and also other specialised advertising agencies.

London is primarily (seriously, could I get any more formal?) where I’ve been looking for work as one, it’s London – capital city; two, because the opportunities are greater and the third is because I have the personal ambition to work there so to see more of the world as I travel to work, as opposed to commuting within the nearby area as I have been for the last several years of my life.

The interview went as well as it possibly could for the experience and knowledge I had to offer, but I’m not fully confident I will have a positive reply from them. The opportunity was pleasant nonetheless and I was able to walk out with my head held high knowing I had tried, and I certainly won’t stop trying for what I want. It felt like a good warm up at the least, but I’d like to believe whether I do hear from them with good news or not, that there’s still something greater to come.

As I left Atom42’s office, I had a small yet satisfying taste of hindsight. I don’t know what it feels like to have the perfect ‘dream’ job, but I’d like to think you know you have, when you find your mind has at long last stopped daydreaming about what or where you should be in life.

My dream job is to help people, because the gifts of doing so I find come to me rather naturally and I can't thank God enough for not needing or wanting anything else, except this will. But, as God tends to do, nothing worth having is ever without challenge and so I'd like to believe prosperity is waiting for me, if where I am right now is proving this worthwhile of my preparation, patience and perseverance.

I find for now that I understand the full meaning of finding yourself and I realise that it will take an even greater amount of time and hard work until I get to the place where I can at long last, embrace my own personal happiness.

Keep cheerful J

Damned if I do, or damned if I don't?