I feel I'm discovering myself again! But I'm majorly tired anyways! lol... Life is hectic to say the least... not as much as hectic with activity, but hectic with thoughts - you try dealing with this - and when I say this.. it's not just that - it's beyond more than that! I feel that with a certain thought, things were on and off, but now I feel they are simply on.. to the point where it will be the end - much sooner than perhaps imagined! Is it selfish for me to want this day to come and just be over - I believe it is! I should take each day as if it were like being hit by a lorry... I'll take the hit, get back up and take the hit again, and again, and again... and I'll keep taking that hit until the last day! Its taken weeks for me to sort myself out emotionally! And now when I cry... its only for the one thought instead of the two! But whatever anyways...