it hadn't really set in that it is already the holidays again until just now when i watched the last 20 minutes of "the holiday." it really is an adorable movie and i'm not sure why i don't own it yet. even without realizing it the holidays have already got me thinking about past holidays with the boy and just the past in general. i know now that i never fully just sat back and enjoyed the relationship, especially after the first year, and i just worried about losing it all the time instead. now i know im not good enough for this past one and i need to learn before the next one. i can't wait to go home. i'm trying not to expect anything, but i most likely am...especially when everyone else is.