Suicide: The Teen Struggle Teen suicide is becoming a serious problem in today’s society. It seems as though teenagers are committing suicide now more than ever before. Some speculate that it is due to stress, other’s say that it is because of drug use, some say that there is too much emotional baggage and still other’s say there’s a genetic reason. I don’t know what the right answer is. This is what I do know; I felt like I would never be happy and no one understood me, I couldn’t deal with that. So I decided I wanted to die when I was only 15 years old. What made me what to kill myself? Well, it wasn’t one single event or reason, but rather a combination of events that led to my suicide attempt. Starting with my parents’ divorce. My parent’s got divorced when I was 10 years old. I guess you could say that was the initiating event because that is when my life started to take a dive. I felt as though I had lost my reason for living because my family was being ripped apart at the seams. There was a dispute over who would have custody of my brothers and sister. When I realized that I wasn’t apart of the custody agreement, I asked why and received the biggest shock of my life; the man I had called my father for seven years, wasn’t my father at all. I was angry and hurt and I went into a state of depression. I didn’t know how to cope with all of the feelings I had so I didn’t deal with them at all. My mom decided to move to North Carolina to help my sister get over her selective mutism. For me it was just another bad experience. I was used to living in the city and the shock of moving to the country was enormous. I finished out what was left of my eighth grade year in Rockingham Jr. High. I didn’t socialize, I wanted nothing to do with people. I felt like no one understood me and that I was alone in the world. I felt that it was my fault my parents got divorced and that they didn’t love me anymore. Finally, I felt that I couldn’t take the pain anymore, I was tired of being depressed, I was tired of feeling misunderstood, and I was tired of feeling unloved. I didn’t want to continue to drown out my emotions with books and homework. I just couldn’t take the pain and the stress anymore. I had to do something to ease it. I had to kill myself that was the only way out that I could see. I set the scene, I took two bottles of aspirin and hid them in my room so I could overdose. In addition to the pills, I had a razor blade that I had stolen out of a box cutter just in case the pills didn’t work. Two weeks before the planned suicide I wrote my best friend, Laura a letter. I told her I loved her and I was sorry for the pain this was going to cause her, but I needed the pain to go away. I went to school that morning and put on a happy face so no one would suspect anything was wrong. I cleaned out my locker and said goodbye to some of the teachers I cared about and then I got on the school bus to go home and kill myself. Everything was planned out. No one knew my plan there was no one to stop me-or so I thought. I stepped off the bus and crossed the street. I walked across the lawn to the small brick house with the black shutters; all the while smiling inside because this was the last time I had to do this. I walked up the 3 concrete steps to the white screen door. As I pulled it open I was met by my mother. She was furious! She had found my letter. My heart hit the floor, my plans were ruined. I don’t remember what was said, but I do remember a lot of yelling. Then the bomb fell. The hospital, it is the single most terrifying place in the entire world. 30 days of involuntary commitment where I had to talk to counselors, and tell my entire life’s story to a group of strangers, who were probably crazier than I was at the time. It was pure hell for me. But I learned some very valuable skills while I was there. They taught me how to be comfortable with myself and how to cope when things became too stressful. I continue to use these life skills in my day to day life. When I was 15 years old I was hospitalized for attempting suicide. I would say that it was the lowest point of my life. Many teenagers today feel the way I had felt for 5 long years. They feel extreme loneliness, and feel so much pressure to be perfect. To have the perfect body, to make perfect grades, and to have the perfect life. They feel inadequate when they cannot live up to societies unrealistic expectations. When it becomes too much to handle, there is yet another name in the obituaries. Teen suicide is a serious problem that needs to be dealt with. We need to teach these young people how to deal with stress and how to be comfortable with themselves. If we don’t, the teen suicide rate is going to continue to rise.