REMEMBER, THIS IS MY DIARY, I DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING I WRITE, OR ANSWER TO ANYONE. I HAVE BEEN ANOREXIC AND BULIMIC FOR GOING ON THREE YEARS. I HAVE BEEN A SELF MUTILATOR FOR ALMOST 5. I AM CURRENTLY IN "RECOVERY" I HAVE A VERY FRAGILE IMAGE OF MYSELF SO PLEASE BE GENTLE WHEN LEAVING COMMENTS. IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN WHERE I AM, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE PAIN AND THE SUFFERING AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO TRY TO CHANGE. DO NOT ASK ME HOW TO BECOME ANA OR MIA. IT ISN'T FUNNY AND IT ISN'T GLAMOROUS. IT ISN'T JUST A QUICK WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT EITHER. IT IS A DISEASE AND IT WILL SLOWLY DESTROY YOUR LIFE. I DON'T WISH THIS ON ANYONE! I HAVE PUT A DISCLAIMER ON HERE, DO NOT REPEAT ANYTHING YOU READ HERE. DO NOT SEND ME HATE MAIL. IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU READ HERE, THEN LEAVE. THIS ISN'T A PRO ED DIARY. BUT I DO HAVE AN ED. SO DON'T BASH ME, I AM TRYING. IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE, DO NOT BLAME ME OR MY DIARY FOR ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO DO. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So how is everyone? I am so sorry that I haven't updated! This site can be so aggrivating sometimes. I tried to update like 4 times and it wouldn't save, ah well life goes on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In recent news, I feel like a Jack ass. Eric and I broke up... He cheated on me. I guess I always knew he was, I just never wanted to admit it. But yea we are officially over, no wedding bells here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some good news, I have a new boyfriend-James. He is such a good guy and I like him alot... ah hell it is 9:30 I gotta get going, i'll add more later i promise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay so now I am at school using the computer. I am waiting on DSS to get here so they can get this shit over with. Oh hell that is right The damn site didn't save so ya'll don't know.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My step-dad, Gary called DSS and told them that I was smoking weed with my mom in front of the 3 youngest kids. Well now I have to pass a piss test. Oh well I already know that I am going to fail but ha ha what Gary didn't tell them was he was smoking with me. See how Karma works? It is such a beautiful thing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Talked to Eric this morning he is so hell bent on staying friends but damn if it isn't hard. I am still so angry with him! Oh well I dunno what to do with that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ James is sitting right here but he's basically ignoring me. He is too involved in the computer.(He is such a computer nerd!) It's cute though. Christin is here bugging me too. She can be so cool sometimes but at other's you just want to strangle her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So wow, I just drew a blank that's a first cuz I always have so much to say. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My mom is freaking out. She's like I am going to fucking kill that cock sucker! You don't mess with a person's kids like that. he is going to be a dead son of a bitch. To tell the truth... She is getting on my nerves. I mean damn. It isn't that big of a deal. Well maybe it is to her. What do I know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Apparently whenever the social worker was there yesterday she made a mention about the hospital(Holly Hill) and she said something along the lines of well if the test comes back positive you have options. What the fuck ever. I promise that I will Kill myself if they try to send me back there. THAT IS A FUCKING PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!! But otherwise, I am okay. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So well umm I think that is just about all I have to say for right now. Until next time..... Kayla