REMEMBER, THIS IS MY DIARY, I DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING I WRITE, OR ANSWER TO ANYONE. I HAVE BEEN ANOREXIC AND BULIMIC FOR GOING ON THREE YEARS. I HAVE BEEN A SELF MUTILATOR FOR ALMOST 5. I AM CURRENTLY IN "RECOVERY" I HAVE A VERY FRAGILE IMAGE OF MYSELF SO PLEASE BE GENTLE WHEN LEAVING COMMENTS. IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN WHERE I AM, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE PAIN AND THE SUFFERING AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO TRY TO CHANGE. DO NOT ASK ME HOW TO BECOME ANA OR MIA. IT ISN'T FUNNY AND IT ISN'T GLAMOROUS. IT ISN'T JUST A QUICK WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT EITHER. IT IS A DISEASE AND IT WILL SLOWLY DESTROY YOUR LIFE. I DON'T WISH THIS ON ANYONE! I HAVE PUT A DISCLAIMER ON HERE, DO NOT REPEAT ANYTHING YOU READ HERE. DO NOT SEND ME HATE MAIL. IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU READ HERE, THEN LEAVE. THIS ISN'T A PRO ED DIARY. BUT I DO HAVE AN ED. SO DON'T BASH ME, I AM TRYING. IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE, DO NOT BLAME ME OR MY DIARY FOR ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO DO. Hey Ya'll what's up? Not much here well that's a lie i am frustrated as hell and I really really want to cut. I am in my math class and frustrated as hell because i dont' know what I am doing and I asked the teacher to slow down and he's all like no. I am realizing that I am wanting to cut for the smallest things which means that this is getting out of my control, I thought that I controled it but aparently it is really in control of me... The realization of that scares me to death. I have that appointment in a half hour and I am very scared. I am nervous as hell and my stomach is in knots, Well writing this has helped a little bit so I guess I will get back t0 class. Kayla