REMEMBER, THIS IS MY DIARY, I DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING I WRITE, OR ANSWER TO ANYONE. I HAVE BEEN ANOREXIC AND BULIMIC FOR GOING ON THREE YEARS. I HAVE BEEN A SELF MUTILATOR FOR ALMOST 5. I AM CURRENTLY IN "RECOVERY" I HAVE A VERY FRAGILE IMAGE OF MYSELF SO PLEASE BE GENTLE WHEN LEAVING COMMENTS. IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN WHERE I AM, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE PAIN AND THE SUFFERING AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO TRY TO CHANGE. DO NOT ASK ME HOW TO BECOME ANA OR MIA. IT ISN'T FUNNY AND IT ISN'T GLAMOROUS. IT ISN'T JUST A QUICK WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT EITHER. IT IS A DISEASE AND IT WILL SLOWLY DESTROY YOUR LIFE. I DON'T WISH THIS ON ANYONE! I HAVE PUT A DISCLAIMER ON HERE, DO NOT REPEAT ANYTHING YOU READ HERE. DO NOT SEND ME HATE MAIL. IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU READ HERE, THEN LEAVE. THIS ISN'T A PRO ED DIARY. BUT I DO HAVE AN ED. SO DON'T BASH ME, I AM TRYING. IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE, DO NOT BLAME ME OR MY DIARY FOR ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO DO. Okay. How are ya'll doing? Me eh I have been better and I have been worse. Dean spent the weekend at my house. It was cool because mom and Gary stayed gone most of the time so it was just me and him.... Last night mom and Gary went to Raliegh(Spelled wrong prolly) and they got back after we went to bed. Well anyways when I woke up this morning there was a bag sitting beside the bed with body lotion(Sweet pea and Black Rasberry vanilla) Mambo(my favorite perfume) And a couple of pairs of socks- the softest things i have ever felt. I dunno why she did it but it was definately a nice surprise. Well Tonight we(Me Dean Mom And Gary) Went for chinese, It was good(unlike Friday night when Jade and I went...) then we went shopping. I got some new underwear-very cute.... and a pair of jeans and a pair of boots. I think i made out pretty well. We drove Dean back to Cheraw and yea now I am home. I have a paper due tomorrow, well the rough draft... it should be good. Cross your fingers. Well I suppose I should talk about what you all really stopped by to read about...How did it go on Tuesday huh.... I am not going back. I was talking to her and it was all good and I specifically asked her not to say anything about what we talked about to my mom(She goes to school with me too) and the first thing I hear out of my mom's mouth when I got home was, why are you telling people you cut yourself.... So yea um I am not going back. I swear that this is why I keep my mouth shut. I mean people don't know how to shut the fuck up so yea, I will just deal with this on my own. Ugh, I give mad props to anyone who seeks help and stays with it because it is such a bitch. I am gonna get going, I have to call Dean. Kayla