hmmm....i feel lonely! i'm just sitting at home all by myself, doing nothing. i hate days like this. but it is also raining cats and dogs (never understood that expression but, whatever floats your boat) and i absolutely love the rain!! i'll prolly go outside and play bball or just walk/run around the neighborhood just to be outside. hm, i just can't figure out some people in life. let's call this person Zeke. now Zeke is a friend of mine, but zeke bugs me sometimes. the stupid things zeke does just get on my nerves. i have never understood why zeke does these things, and i confronted zeke about them and zeke just plays them off as if they were nothing. but i know that zeke doesn't think that they are just nothing! zeke is upset/shocked when others do stuff like zeke is doing, but when zeke does them, it's "just nothing". and theres this other person, lets call them claire. now claire is also a friend of mine, but not so much. claire claims to be one of my best friends and stuff, but i just don't think that i am as important to this person as they are to me. don't get me wrong, i love claire to pieces and would do anything for him/her, but i just wonder if claire feels the same way. sometimes i am thinking, "wow, claire and i are best friends, this is AWESOME!" but other times i am thinking, "did i do soemthing wrong? it seems like claire is avoiding me" i question our friendship a lot of the times. i know claire never hates me and thinks highly of me, as i do of claire, but i think i get aggitated when claire picks claire's old friends over me, which is totally reasonable, but still. i can't really get over the fact that i'm a step below them. b/c, yes, i love my friends i have now to death, but if given the chance, i would probably pick doing something with claire over doing something with my current firends. and when i realized that, i felt really bad, but it's just how i feel. i can't change that. well, choir performance tonight...7 at Neu Chapel on the UE campus if ne one wants to come. Almeta is also singing in it. and Orchestra performance with the Singers at 2 on sunday on the 5th floor of the victory if anyone wants to come to that, also. doubt anyone will, but still. well, i'm extrememly bored so i'm gonna go play in the rain. bye!