So I just finished watching an episode of Roseanne....and Darlene was just laying around on the couch all day and the stuff that Roseanne was saying to Darlene was some of the exact same stuff my mom has been saying to me recently and the stuff Darlene was saying was some of the stuff that I have been telling my mom...it was so uncanny....and it just blew me away how similar that show was to my life/situation right now...I actually started crying! ...wow....I've never....hmm....too similar I was just sitting there imagining my mom and me on the tv screen instead of Roseanne and Darlene...the same misunderstandings about drugs and friends influence...no, that's not me at all...I have the best friends and absolutely hate drugs of any kinds....why can't she just understand that sometimes I wanna be left alone? I can never just sit on the couch for a day without being given the third degree....she says shes "building trust" with me, but I see no trust whatsoever! All she ever does is question my actions and judge my friends and my clothes and my hair and the jewelry I wear and the shoes I wear and the movies I watch...uh, I'm just sick of it! One day she said that I didn't do anything when I am home by myself, so I responded with "I helped Kenzie mow her yard"...which I was going to do and was planning to do once she needed it mowed, but okay, it was a lie and I understand that...but it's not like I lied about something extremely important, right? But so she's all like, "Why are you constantly lying to me?!?! Is it the people you hang out with?" "No! I haven't even been out of this house in 3 days! I don't really 'hang out' with anyone!" "Well, you went out with Sam the other day!"....exactly, 3 days ago I went out to shop with someone thats my age....so shoot me?! But then the other night, we were sitting watching TV and she's like "Lauren, do you know what kinda ppl always wear t-shirts?" "what?!" "Lesbians wear t-shirts all the time....they're called dykes....Lauren, are you gay?" "NO MOM, I'M NOT GAY! HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?!" "Well, you are always wearing t-shirts" "So anyone who wears t-shirts is automatically gay?!" "No, your dad found love notes" "What kinda love notes? I don't have any lesbian love notes!!!" "Well, he's just worried" OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! Uhhhhhhhhh, it makes me so mad! they can't even trust me when I tell them things....I'm not gay...just because I haven't had a boyfriend for a while doesn't mean I'm not interested...I'm shy about stuff like that...it takes me a while, I don't take after any bad influences...since ya know, all my friends are druggies who hate church and God and stuff....NOT! I have the most spiritual, good influence friends, why can't they just understand that?! I'm sitting here in absolute tears, streaming down my cheeks, thinking about how untrusting they are of me.....it absoltuely makes me sick! downright sick! IT IS RIDICULOUS absolutely ridiculous.... I need sleep