Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life Because it's empty Because of you ....I am afraid Tonight at church started out fine. I drove by where everyone in the youth group parks and I didn't seen any signs of Jacob's truck. Feeling relieved, I went inside and said my hellos.. then he walked in late with his friends.. We couldn't even look at eachother the entire time. I didn't think my heart could take it and I was afraid of what I would say or do.. I don't know what his reason was. When church or "refuge" is over music is always played over the speakers. And today, of all days, they had to play the one song all of my friends know that I can't listen to. I took me over a year bring myself to visit my grandfather's grave because he was more like a father to me and this song was playing on the radio as I pulled up. I can't help but cry.. Jacob knows that better than anyone and for the first time that night, he looked at me. I think the worst part was that he looked almost as upset as I did. "I wish I had never met you.." I wonder if he meant that so many nights ago. That didn't matter right now. I tried to be nice in the parking lot before I left.. I think I forgiven him and he has no reason to hate me because I did nothing wrong. fjsadkhglksaj I hate this. This is the song (its by switchfoot): yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead yesterday is a promise that you've broken don't close your eyes this is your life and today is all you've got now yeah, and today is all you'll ever have don't close your eyes this is your life, are you who you want to be this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose [ Background by www.nuthinbutnet.net ]