It's not all that matters, it's all that used to matter. I never thought that things would change this fast.. I wish I could have anticipated this. Maybe then I could have been better prepared. I'm a senior now.. and I don't know how to handle it. I hate knowing that everything i'm doing is the last time i'll being doing it. I've lost a lot of my friends.. I guess they couldn't have mattered all that much if they so easily abandoned me. I've taked too many hard classes and I'm already pulling all-nighters and having nervous breakdowns. To top that off: I have at least three blinding migranes a week (probably from stress). I'm juggling so many things that it's not possible to keep them up for long. My friend might be pregnant.. and if she is then her mother is kicking her out. She'll be living with me.. i'm so scared for her.. Sometimes I just want to scream. Two guys really want to be with me right now and I don't know what to do. I miss "love". but I don't think I could ever find that with them. I'm not saying his name this time. I have to forget the one that I loved. The sooner you realize things will never be the same, the sooner you can move on. love is when u miss him even before he leaves when you could listen to him talk all night and never get tired of hearing his voice when the sound of his name sends chills down your spine and you see his smile the second you close your eyes i wanna be that qirl he`s scared to lose the one where he can`t walk away from knowing shes mad at him, the one who can`t fall asleep without her voice being the last one he hears the one he wouldn`t know what to do without..