Family does not mean anything! That word is so overrated.. My definition of family: A punching bag. Or.. The people that make you feel like a punching bag. Because no matter how many times they try and beat you down you just keep coming back for more abuse. Not because you want to. But there is no other option. I got a job... and a new guy, but I lost so much in turn for that. For some reason my happiness is on a balance and whatever I gain has to be equaled in sweat, blood, and tears. I'm sick. The kind of sick that doesn't just stay on the surface. I can feel it in my soul that i'm not alright. Not this time. I've lost 12 pounds in 2 days and the people that know me know that I don't have a whole hell of a lot to lose in the first place. I don't know.. I guess I'm just not enough for them anymore. I have to learn to accept that you aren't the person I once knew and we aren't the close friends we once were. Kaitie- You're the only one that has always been there for me. I can count on you to have my back no matter what and I love you for that. I wish that my other friends could compare to that. So what if I'm bitter and hateful. That's nothing new. I wanted everything to stay the same But feelings fade and people change. Love is... giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to. I'll talk about how trust is overrated later.