This past week several people have asked me where I've been.. and I did not give them a clear answer because I, quite honestly, did not know for sure. I know now.. that I've been in a sort of hell that I have inflicted upon myself. Last weekend I saw Jacob. We were out playing baseball with a huge group so it was fine and we didn't talk much at first.. I was supposed to go to Jan's after and then I was invite to go out with mark, Tim, and them back to his aunt's for the night so I decided to go with them instead.. or at least I said I was but I never showed up. They left and Jacob and I stayed behind to talk. We've never really been friends.. and I don't know.. It was fine and I was happy. Just talking and hugging and the little things for a while and then my other friend walked up and thought that he saw us kissing.. we weren't but that's not what he told my friends. If case you forgot, too.. because I know I did: THEY HATE HIM. I have never had to defend someone so much in my entire life then I chose to this past week. I also doubt that I have ever been yelled or cursed at more in such a small amount of time. I managed to get through it.. but its worn my patience with Jacob thin. Last night he called me when I was out with friends. I invited him to come along.. that was a mistake that I never should have made. He was a complete jerk the entire time. I can't handle him playing with my emotions anymore. He even sunk so low.. that he kept showing me pics of his new g/f and their prom tickets. I wanted to rub how close Tim and I have gotten in his face. And at that point.. his expression in return to me saying, "really? because Tim asked me to prom, too. And I'm going with him" would have been well worth whatever consequences followed. I left with Ryan after he pushed me too far. I ended up hitting the wall.. and I busted six of my knuckles wide open. Ryan saw me and called Tim to come cheer me up. I didn't even care until this morning in the shower when stinging sensations shot up my arm in reaction to the soap. Tim and I went to his friend Kyle's house. I didn't know him but we were friends by the time I left. Mark, Ryan, Charlie, and some other guys were there and we had a great time. I never could forget about Jacob.. and if you think that sounds bad.. I didn't even feel anything when Tim and I were holding hands or when he had his arms around me because I was so distracted by the ghost of what my day had been. I left around 4 in the morning to get some sleep in my own bed. Earlier Friday.. at school.. I collapsed in 3rd period in front of my teacher. Needless to say.. it was bad. I was violently shaking and could barely see anything and I still don't know why. He started to call an ambulance but I got ahold of my parents first and them came to rush me to my doctor. I'm deathly afraid of needles and they needed a lot of blood to run tests.. I went in to shock 6 times before they were done and eventually ended up face down on the tile with a painful new bump across my head. My blood pressure was fiercely low and it made getting the right amount almost impossible.. I still have not fully recovered and I won't know the results for a while. That has pretty much been my week.. or at least the parts of it that are worth remembering. [ Background by www.nuthinbutnet.net ]