saruh1287: what the hell is this?! i'm serious this time. I'm sorry.. I try not to hate people. But I hate her. saruh1287: I need you more than ever right now.. everything is falling apart.. and she won't even let you talk to me Haha Oh Buddy: why do you hate her? Haha Oh Buddy: dont hate her saruh1287: I'm not going to regret loving you.. and she can just get over that. but I think i'm doing a pretty damn good job of hiding it Haha Oh Buddy: thats her reason for not liking you Haha Oh Buddy: cuz she's scared of you Haha Oh Buddy: cuz you're the only other person thats loved me Haha Oh Buddy: and she would die for what you and me have Haha Oh Buddy: and i swear if you ever use this against her, i'll never talk to you saruh1287: what do we have? I have to pretend every single day and I will never get to be with you again. whats so great about that saruh1287: I love you and I can't be with you. Explain what the envy there is about PLEASE because I am dying to know Haha Oh Buddy: its just our chemistry, just how we are together Haha Oh Buddy: how i talk about you Haha Oh Buddy: how we can talk to eachother easily saruh1287: ... saruh1287: but that doesn't even matter anymore... because she won't let it saruh1287: we could be great friends and this is just wrong saruh1287: I don't understand.. Haha Oh Buddy: honestly, im scared of what could happen if we hung out Haha Oh Buddy: i still have feeling for you, im not gonna lie Haha Oh Buddy: and if i got in the situation, im sure i would show you Haha Oh Buddy: and i dont wanna be put in the situation saruh1287: think about the past couple of times though.. you know that I wont let you kiss me or anything.. I've been trying really hard to not let things go wrong saruh1287: I can't lose you completely like this.. saruh1287: it's not fair saruh1287: I hate her.. saruh1287: I'll understand if you do.. but please don't tell her I've said any of this Haha Oh Buddy: no Haha Oh Buddy: you dont hate her saruh1287: how can you say that? saruh1287: she took away the one person that I've ever really cared for.. how am I supposed to feel saruh1287: if this isn't hate then I dont know what is Haha Oh Buddy: no, she didn't take anything away from you Haha Oh Buddy: what we had wasn't healthy Haha Oh Buddy: it was hurting both of us Haha Oh Buddy: more than it was helping saruh1287: I'm not going to argue with you because I know somehow i'm wrong saruh1287: but that doesn't mean that I believe it saruh1287: do you love her? Haha Oh Buddy: yes Haha Oh Buddy: she's been nothing but awesome and supportive since day 1 Haha Oh Buddy: ive tried everything i could to not screw this up Haha Oh Buddy: cuz i like what i have right now, it works for me, its what i needed saruh1287: please don't say anything else about it right now.. your answer was enough Haha Oh Buddy: im sorry sarah saruh1287: there's nothing to be sorry for Haha Oh Buddy: that i didn't try as much as i could with us as i am with christina saruh1287: please.. just stop.. I can't talk about this anymore right now. Haha Oh Buddy: another reason why ive avoided coming to church saruh1287: that problem is easily fixed saruh1287: i'll fix this Haha Oh Buddy: no Haha Oh Buddy: how Haha Oh Buddy: how are you gonna 'fix this'? saruh1287: I can learn to hate you Haha Oh Buddy: no Haha Oh Buddy: sarah, dont Haha Oh Buddy: seriously saruh1287: A person can get used to anything.. if given enough time. Haha Oh Buddy: thats a bullshit way end it saruh1287: this is something that I have to get used to because it will always be her.. or someone else. Haha Oh Buddy: and you know it saruh1287: what else am I supposed to do?? Haha Oh Buddy: i dont know, let something come to you, but hateing me is a stupid way and just your solution for the time Haha Oh Buddy: but fine, if you want to hate me from now on Haha Oh Buddy: you live with that Haha Oh Buddy: you made that decision saruh1287: you make it sound like its so easy saruh1287: I've tried saruh1287: believe me.. but it just doesn't work Haha Oh Buddy: no Haha Oh Buddy: i wont Haha Oh Buddy: i refuse to believe you saruh1287: I'm not sorry that it's not as easy for me as it is for you Haha Oh Buddy: it can be Haha Oh Buddy: you just make everything harder than it needs to saruh1287: thanks for that.. Haha Oh Buddy: you need to hear that Haha Oh Buddy: cuz you do saruh1287: I know.. you remind me all the time Haha Oh Buddy: i know, you do it a lot saruh1287: then forget me saruh1287: because I know that I could never hate you Haha Oh Buddy: and im never forgetting you Haha Oh Buddy: no Haha Oh Buddy: i wont forget you saruh1287: that's what she wants saruh1287: and you do what she wants Haha Oh Buddy: i do what i think is better Haha Oh Buddy: not what she wants saruh1287: and she is better saruh1287: obviously Haha Oh Buddy: ha, im not gonna play that game saruh1287: it's not a game saruh1287: you've already said it. I was just pointing it out saruh1287: because I need to hear things like that saruh1287: I'm lost again.. you told me to find someone.. but.. it just can't be Tim? because.. hmm Haha Oh Buddy: i fucking hate tim Haha Oh Buddy: but if he makes you happy Haha Oh Buddy: go for it saruh1287: why do you hate him? Haha Oh Buddy: he's annoying Haha Oh Buddy: i wanna stab him in his neck and watch him bleed Haha Oh Buddy: gasping for air Haha Oh Buddy: while he sloooooooowly dies Haha Oh Buddy: oh yes, i can see it now saruh1287: stop saruh1287: hate him all you want Haha Oh Buddy: oh i will saruh1287: then don't say that I don't hate her saruh1287: i promise that I've tried not to.. its not what you're thinking Haha Oh Buddy: ive tried to like tim Haha Oh Buddy: he just isn't my type of person to be around Haha Oh Buddy: ok sorry -heart- Haha Oh Buddy: im going to sleep saruh1287: ok saruh1287: sweet dreams Haha Oh Buddy: night