If you've read any of my old entries.. you've read a lot about Jacob.. but he wasn't my first. I've had 2 so-called "high school sweethearts" and the first was named Nathan. In all honesty.. we broke up after about a year because we were in love. I wasn't ready for that. I panicked. I left. We had barely spoken in nearly two years ..until tonight. We passed on the road and he called me.. we pulled over..it happened so fast.. as if our world had never stopped. ..but it had to stop. This time he left me. Not because he wanted to.. because he had to. He called me on his way and we said some of the things that we should have said a long time ago.. but had been too scared to. Where's the fun in finding the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with when your only 14?? It couldn't have been real.. but this proved it. I never thought any one would tell me that i'm "the reason that they wake up in the morning" but he did. He did. And we was my everything. But I hurt him. It was my fault. And now I don't know what to do. I'm still too young for all of this.. "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." We let go.. maybe now we can go back where we started from. Who knows.. maybe I won't mess things up this time around. "I'm willing to break myself To shake this hell from everything I touch I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays So you don't hurt so much" soco