Tonight! The 2nd annual lacrosse banquet. I ate a lot catered roast beef. Everyone took a lot of picture. Coach Deemer showed off his amazing public speaking skills. Helium balloons were inhaled. Awards were passed out. I got 'most likely to rule the world with my sister' and 'most likely to get picked on by the refs.' Heh, very fitting. A great time. But I hate to say it-- I couldn't fully enjoy it. It was a big reminder that the 2005 season was over. Gosh, this was one of the best seasons I've ever experienced for two main reasons: the sport and my girls. I grew to adore both with all I had. It's going to be hard to let go. I never thought I'd say this after all the bitching I've done over tough practices and losing games, but I'm gonna miss it like crazy. I'm lost without lacrosse. And I can't even begin to imagine how lost I am going to be without the 15 seniors next year. I'm going to be a senior? That's even weirder. I don't want to think about that. So I'm not going to. A big, fat blah. So bye-bye lacrosse season. You were my favorite. --- My weekend was random, hilarious, chaotic... etc. So much that I'm not going to even attempt to explain what happened. But I can try to explain what I learned from what happened... I don't know how to flirt, nor do I have any desire to flirt. It's not me. I see all these girls flirting with every guy, and I just can't do it. I can't even flirt with guys I'm interested in. I sort of act the same. I found this to be the reason explaining why I am so freaking lonely. I just want some affection or something. Even something as simple as a good and real hug. For real, this is crazy-- the last romance I've had was with Bob many months ago. And that hardly counts as a romance. Not fair-ness. I hate feeling lonely. I hate feeling like I am surrounded by people, but I'm still alone. It's so pessimistic. Hopefully this phase will blow over. Or something will come flying into my life. Like a someone, hehe. I think I'm due for that. If only it was that easy. It seems like you have to work for love anymore. I'd be willing to for once though. It's very rare of me-- but I think I could handle something serious in my life now. I just want someone to have around to talk to and to hug lol. I wannaa be in loveeee. --- P.S. Krista and me got prom dresses for 40 bucks. I'm happy with the one i got. Very melllow, summery, and not overly-dramatic.