I look at my phone. Nothing. It's so idle sometimes. I'm sitting alone. Getting drunk off my wine. One boy next to me is on the phone [slightly hammered] confessing his undying love for some girl. The couple is on the bed happily making out. And there is me. Sitting alone. Getting drunk off my wine. As I said before, yeah. I felt so lonely. I didn't have anyone. I thought I did. But I finally realized last night that it's pretty evident he just isn't into me. It's rare that he calls. When he does, it's cause hes got nothing to do. He shows nothing towards me. It sucks. I kept wishing he would say something, and it would go somewhere. However, I see now that wishing is wasting time. I'm done. And I'm back to lonely. In all my thinking and sad eyes, JJ comes out of nowhere and asks me- What gets you ticking? I wanted so bad to give a good answer. That's like the ultimate question. What do you like and disklike.. what gets you going... And i said I dunno. I'm so lame. I thought hard though, and finally came up with my true honest answer. Art. It's good to me. It's always there. Not like most things. It lets me be me. Not like most things. And I don't have to answer to it. Like i have to with most things. And the best part about it. I can be alone with it, and it loves me equally. It's my utopian solitude. He showed me what gets him ticking. It makes me appreciate people alot more when I see they have a talent or love. It's nice to have something to fall back on. A passion that remains constant. Because I've noticed, that my life decides to lead me to dead-ends alot. And I'll feel like jumping off of them everytime I get to one. But there's always something that is therapuetic to me in those moments. It's always been Art. I went on a high ride with the dowds after. That gets me ticking too. I felt good, and started on a new way again- probably another dead-end but oh fucking well. I'm ready for college. I want to learn as much about art as I can. Not only that, but I want to get away from this place. I'm ready to meet people who are like me....