I should send out a warning that I'm under the influence of Nyquil right now. I'm real drowsy and sick, so I'm in a strange mood. So take this all as you will: --- Maybe it's time I start to say the things I really want to. I'm starting to remove this filter I've had on my mouth for years. I don't really give a shit if no one likes it. --- I hate that I feel so helpless. It’s the worst feeling. I wasn’t feeling good on Saturday so I just chilled in my house all night watching the React Now (hurricane relief) concert. I was doing nothing, sitting there on my ass while I watched this terrible footage of people who’ve lost everything. Everything. I’m cuddled up under my roof staring at a TV which costs more than their life savings. DOING NOTHING. It’s terrible. After 9/11 happened, I always said that if anything else happened-- that I would make an effort to physically be there and help people. Hold someone’s hand even. And now that something has happened-- I have yet to move out of my little Bubble. In all my seventeen years of life, I don’t think I’ve done one willing thing to help out to the less fortunate. Small things here and there, but nothing that ever made a difference. Again, I HATE that I feel so helpless. I hope to change that… The future has got my head going crazy. What do I want to do with my life? And why do I feel the need to know right now?! --- Who are we really? We are something stuck inside a body. We puppeteer our bodies. Look in the mirror someday and look at yourself as if ‘you’ were stuck inside. It’s weird. And I’m going to not think about that anymore. It's making me weird. --- My latest obsession: my sketch book. I may be tapping into some creativity I never knew I had. I've been drawing some crazy shit lately. I swear I don't know where some of the things that come out of my pencil are from. It's relaxing though. I don't have to worry about what people think of what I draw. It's my own property, and the only criticism it needs is my own.