Things are still shitty. Actually, shittier. But i'm trying to cope with it. Even if I'm dying. I'm kind of becoming a hypocondriac (spelling?). My sickness won't go away. It's been a month. Antinbiotics didn't help. Nothing is. I think I'm real sick. Oh well, yet again--still trying to cope. Work was insane today, as it is always- but a tad more than usual today. We got new senile residents. Ones who try to commit suicide by pushing themselves toward the ramp saying 'this is my last day on earth.' Ones who face corners of walls. All these new ones are piling in, while my old, familiar ones are slowly decaying. It's sad to see residents get sicker and/or lose their mind more with each passing day. I mean work sucks for everyone- but I have to go through things at my job that not many people know. In a way, I'm happy for that because it's helping me to grow and be exposed to the truth.. but it's just tough. I got screwed over again tonight. But I ended up at Caribou with Katie and Liz P. Thankfully, too. They helped me to use the smile muscles which needed a little bit of movement after this week. We talked about alot of things with no answers. You know, things like life, death, religion, etc. It was amazing. Things I don't want to forget: -Life is neither planned nor completely random, it is both. The chaotic plan. And that would be a good band name. The chaotic plan. -The theory that maybe we are all schizophrenics living in our own reality. -The theory that schizo's are talking to the spirits of the dead. -More reasons against why organized religion is not for me. -Liz's belief that maybe everything about the world was made-up. All the history. All that. It's a crazy thought. -Lots more, I'd be typing for years if I tried to type everything we discussed in that short/long hour at Caribou.