... one of the most dramatic days of my short life. This morning, I missed the bus so i drove into school. On the way, I ran a red light that I didn't even know was there in this confusing intersection. I messed up my parent's car. And hit another guys car. He was really cool about it, but my mom was not. The only thing I could say to make things less worse was that i promised to pay for any damage at all. So basically--- all the money I've been working so much for and saving for my big plans this summer--- is going to fix a fucking mini-van. I cried so much. I had to go to school and I couldn't compose myself. Mr jones pulled me aside and told me about his first accident, and gave me a tap to say that tomorrow will be a brand new day. Hes a wonderful guy and I'm honored to of had him as my teacher. As I was leaving class, I bumped into Randi in the hallway. This tends to randomly happen alot. Fate in the hallways of Baldwin high school or something maybe. We hung out in the stairwell, talking about things like how bad we want to leave baldwin and stuff. I think he feels the same as me on a lot of things I'm going through right now. Just talking to him gave me the strength to get through the day. I realized that this sucks really bad, and I'm going to be handing over alot of my own money. But that is life. Maybe this all will of happened for a reason in some long scheme of events. Like maybe this will help me to clean up and stop spending my money on weed or something. Who knows. --- There is so much hype about love. It's mentioned in almost all the movies and songs and books we know. Ever since we were little kids, we sat in front of the big screen and watched disney movies about love. Think about-- Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Lion King--- just to name a few. All of them revolve around love. So clearly we are conditioned to believe that our lives are nothing without it. I can think of days in second grade when i was writing 'I love Jon' on my papers. It's crazy, but we are all in such a hurry to find the person exactly right for us at such early ages. As if we are worried that when we get old, we will be alone. Gosh forbid anyone live a single live. All the hype... Yet, I have completely fallen for it. I'm pretty certain that all the hype is in fact, factual. I don't know what love is, but when i feel something that is close to my idea (which is completely based upon all the media that has conditioned me)... i began understand what all the hype is about. I really do feel that life is meaningless without love. Words spoken without it mean ntohing, and actions with motives other than love aren't usually positive. So call me a hopeless romantic or whatever, but i believe in love so much. There are few things in this world that I can honestly say with all my heart are REAL. But love is one of them. And i will continue to seek my Disney romance.