Okay, well. i was just browsing through some diaries and I end up thinking: "I don't want to be one of those floozies that only does anything for a guy. I don't want to have to be tortured over some guy. Some simple, sick, obsession. It's the kind that bleeds itself into you and you really can't find out what to do. And if anything does go wrong, Michael. I don't want any marks left from you" I feel scared, of all things to write in here, because my mother, I know, will hunt down this site, and find out my password and read everything I have EVER written. I do not like the fact that I do not have privacy, and the fact that I can't be trusted, and the fact that everytime I come home, I think of all the times she has EVER yelled at me, and the way she looked at that moment, and the way she even BREATHED. this can't be healthy. no no. i find it wierd, mike an di have been having crazies we got in a figth and he said: "THERE IS NO WE" i became so very upset i did. and then my grandparents and i got in a fight and i started crying and couldnt stop its like word-hurt and i listen to the same songs over agiain and he says he still feels about me the same way and i cant sit still and i dont want the friends i have now only the old faithful ones like lisa and shea and my mom got back from surgery and shell probably kill me when shes better i have pages and pages written out with what she has said to me