We're clever but we're clueless. I guess if a person has a frantic word or two to say upon looking for you, or a worried gesture to a shared friend; they're missing you... or something. I haven't seen people in a long time, brief periods of on and off moments, even glances in the hallways are at an all time low. The people I do see frequently though, are just there. People who are too grouchy and don't like to just spend time and talk with someone. If nostalgia is to be something good, something to plague you, then why not make fucking memories instead of ignoring people? Being stuck in your own revolving world of convinced depression. Blah. I'm really tired, I didn't get to sleep last night because in trying to fall asleep, I was wondering what ever did happen to Laurel, I mean she's still around.. but why no hunting each other down like usual? That and I had this really weird nightdream (if you will-- like a day dream) and I really wanted it to happen. If things were scripted, spontaneous action would be cut from the mirrior all together, but even then a simplistic corrupt world would be even better. I'm tired of being confined in these teenage actions and basic human drills, I mean what am i supposed to do with myself if life keeps on like this? What about, energetic and engaging? Like, who are we after this? We aren't teenagers we're the fucked up changed after math of it. And that's what's the worst I suppose. Being left as that figure. But; listen to me dribble. I'm boring readers to death. I'm actually too lonley being alone. My mom is hardly ever home, she finds excuses not to come home after work, and Landon's always at a friends house or some sport. I like coming home at noon or 3 o clock or something, having free afternoons and everything. But it just gets boring in the dregs of the evening. I suppose I could always do my modules but thats what IL is for. Which is why I have it three times a week, and doubled twice. Blah. I'm going no where in my boredom and non-fun-fed life. Let's smoke pot. We're happy then. Evvvvvvvveryone.