it was like this.. dream. this softness that coated your life with hopeless surreality. i'm honestly trying to sound as stupid as i am, doctor, i'm just trying to tell you what its like. It's cracked and hoplessness doesnt cope well with two parts, forging, like a stronghold, into eachother and it;s just not as simple or easy to describe,its like... feeling. being left ignorant in life from what it's supposed to be. and it's the stupid prettiness that youve trained yourself to like, to aww at, to surround ones self with wholly, memorization, taste, feel etc etc its just too long of a sentance to describe the two. either the darkness reflected in one, that makes you sadder, more whole hearted, the dept in which you sink in your own relation to what was decribed. or the sheer boredom and general appreciation, unphasing. please notice me please notice me please notice the way my hand touch m face and my knees, and maybe then, please please please disapprove of the marks on my legs and the sigh in the cress of my throat and play gently with your lips on my lips. please mister, you're all i currently. maybe i'll keep writing my name so you can't forget it later, maybe you'll be watching it slide off the television screen, the fact that a hopeless teenager is now apparently very dead. one raw egg sunny side up, gone bad, whatever phrase tickles your fancy about my distraught doom. what if i start freaking out and not breathing when im coming down because your giving my mental imagination these ideas oh my god when im sober do i notice these things/? am i okay am i talking about myself with that half come back wheere im really not sober for 5 seconds anymore id reach into myself to find you it was so calm and cool and now its earraticated my fingers are breaking with the stress im puttin g on them my teeth are bleeding im ashamed to know you taylor says kristov and everyone else i dont want to talk to you because you are an embarrassment I HATE;fd this i cant do it well with out a pair around my throat how about some more on the ankles girl. AHH STOP ITS THE PART WHERE THE ADMITTANCE IS DELT, SUBMITTED. where you both realize your made for eachother. baby i need you, i cant close this window, ill loose it all its been over an hour since iv ebeen okay. i feel like my body is spreading, splitting, being overly used and breaking right while my mental state is at its peak and being of loss. i am the strength and i am failure about this story this relation this commitance of people, this highschool drama, im the girl you are ashamed of but love so deeply.