I swear, if this dumb site goes on the frits and deletes my entry, i will kill.. I am secrectly a man with an obsession with semi colons. Because I fucked for nothing. In my opinion. I talked to him angstily on the phone today; he asked me if i really do love him. I reply with my usual "of course". The thing is, i really do love him, with every freckle and cell that is him, it's all perfect for me. When he came down for lovely spring break; he was here for 5 days, stayed with me for about threee. Three fabulous days of falling asleep with him; best sleeps I've ever had might I add. But that is not the point. What I am actually getting at is;; when he came to me; it felt like he was going to be here forever. but with our sad parting and such it made things seem like he wasn't ever coming back. Like it was a thing to help me realize what I am and all that 'inside' junk. ugh, i disgust myself right now. Because of that 'one time only discover yourself feeling' I feel like a slut. like i used him AND myself at the same time for some sick pleasure, but it wasn't that, because from what I do infact know about myself, I am not like that. I hope. Well; i shall have to call him later talk with him about me and my unpassable ness its stubborn and it sucks. toata