I dunno how 2 feel. I'm happy bc I have Andy but I dunno y I feel so down. i just don't want 2 hurt him or get hurt. I mean I know he wouldn't hurt me so I guess it's me I'm worried about, or me hurting him. he is really nice and wicked awesome. mike and I were great friends & we dated then I fucked up. I mess everything up. damn depression. I dont know wut 2 do. and eric changed his mind bout chris. I dunno wut 2 do. I really like andy so why am I so afraid. I guess it's partly bc my guy experience is horrible. I just....eerrr....but I heart him SO much & I know he would never hurt me so why am I so worried? I dunno if this whole thing will work out, me & him. he doesn't go 2 my school & he lives in North Brookfield. OMG!!!!! Carrie just called me!!!!!! She helped someone w/writting a book the last time I visited her & she got me a copy!!!! its a teen pagan book and it kicks ass, I would know...I helped, lol. I'm SO happy now!! lol. Roman has started to crawl...WOOT!!!! SWEET!!!! OMG!!! everytime I talk 2 Andy, I can't help but be happy and smile and laugh. Everytime I talk 2 him, think of him, talk to him, I get butterflies in my stomach. I dunno, I'm prolly putting 2 much into something that prolly won't last or won't even happen...god, y do I do this to myself?!?! Can anyone tell my WHY?!?!?!?! April 6th 2005 This morning I found out that Kevin likes me, lol. I kinda thought so. 2 bad (kinda) he didn't tell me earlier. I did like him. Why do people tell me they like me after I stop liking them? lol, oh well. I have my Oliver..that is Andy's last name, lol. yea, I'm still...confuzzed... And I think I'm losing a friend, but I told *** that I would end up pushing *** away. But *** is in a better relationship with someone else, and I'm glad the other person is making *** happy.