Ahhh I hate how easily I become infatuated with people. I don't know how to deal with my freakin feelings. I can't stand it! Like it comes at the weirdest times too! It's with the strangest people too. Like once my cousin who doesnt live here, was visiting and then after she left I felt so sad and all I wanted to do was look at the picture's I had taken and I became depressed as much as I tried to hide it. God I hate doing that!!! I really don't know why I get like that though, like I hardly even knew her and there was other family that was here that I talked to even more then her. And then another time I became infactuated a girl in my class who is pretty cool but for the most part I usually dont like her.. I do talk to her though, and for one week I wanted to be her friend more then anything but of course it was wierd because like we didnt talk that much and she was sort of popular and I have a lot of friends(some being popular and others not) but I'm not popular and thats the way I like it. I don't want a truck load of people hating me because I'm popular. Anyways then yeah I don't feel so great right now, just because the last two days have been pretty awesome. But they weren't like the best I've had... I'm still trying to figure out why I'm sorta depressed right now. Like I have nothing to be sad about! Maybe it's just wierd because I feel closer to one of the people who were there but like in a wierd way. It was just soemthing she said, it keeps playing again and again in my head. And she knew that it wasnt what she would say if someone else was there but it was just the two of us. It was like she knew she could trust me or something, maybe that's what I'm thinking now, Oh hell I don't know. I'm just so screwed right now. Arg I hate this feeling, well hopefully I'll get to go out with some friends tomorrow and get my mind off things for a litle while. I wish I knew how to deal with this! Later MLE