What a day… I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got home and thought about it. First of all, these stupid bitches were bugging me again. They used to be my friends but now they just think they’re better than everyone else when there not at all, they’re really gross but they still always get what they want. And anyways they were dissing my friend, who is supposedly one of their friends and they always call her or me or anyone a faggot, and next time they say that to anyone I’m going to break so many promises and call them dykes, because they made out a long time ago and no one was supposed to know but it got around and now everyone will know because they are like the biggest bitches ever, it’s not even funny. Then they were making fun of the music I listen to, and that right there is so screwed up. They used to be all emo this, emo that, and now there making fun of me for listening to it, which I don’t even listen to that much of it anymore. They’re so hypocritical and it angers me. Anyways and then Michael said that his friends were saying shit about us going out again, and they’re freaking jerks and they think I’m trying to take him away from them, and I’ve told him to spend more time with them because they were getting mad at him. Michael always says that he would rather be with me and all his friends ever want to do is get wasted and smoke up and he said he didn’t like doing that anymore. And yea I can see maybe the weed but he doesn’t want to get wasted anymore and that’s just so weird because he was never ever like that. Last year at this time, he was a big time stoner, he was failing and he got wasted every weekend, and since he’s been with me he stopped the drugs and the drinking (which I didn’t care so much about), and he’s passing now. And his sister said this is the happiest she’s ever seen him, and that he’s doing the best she’s ever seen. The bad thing is… I want to break up, and the first time we broke up, we hadn’t been alone in 3 weeks so we hadn’t done anything, and things were starting to get weird, and we had a weird phone conversation so I sort of used that as a reason and that I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. But then we got back together because I missed him and all these emotions I couldn’t deal with. Now I’m feeling the same way I did before and I want it to end, but this time it is sooooo sooooo sooooo much harder than last time, because things are a lot like more intimate, and he is constantly saying I love you, and we never fight! Ever! It’s so crazy, and I look for reasons to just like be a bitch about something but nothing… ever! And his birthday is coming up so I can’t dump him before that because we have plans, and like there’s just so many reasons why I can’t do it. And if I was to break up with him I know he would flip out, like last time we weren’t even that close anymore and he had been clean for 4 months (of weed) and when I dumped him he sort of went suicidal and then he smoked a joint. Then we got back together, and now we are so close right now and if I dumped him I have no idea what he would do, like I don’t want him to do drugs again, or start failing again, or worst… later mle