i havent written in a while because i dont feel like its needed. it hasnt appealed to me. it doesnt appeal to me now. its kind of like a homework assignment. theres something about it that just bothers me. what isnt like a homework assignment, is reading other journals, i do that all the time. cierra has been really making me angry. she's such a selfish child. she's like a little kid. she's barely growing up. she still hasnt learned to put anything else before herself. she has no respect for life. everything is for her selfish pleasure. and simple things..like letting ian sit in the front because its a small car and it would be cramped in the back, or like since you wont let him sit in the front, maybe you could just make room for him instead of complaining about how you are uncomfortable. she just, sucks. she is so selfish its really started to get to me. i dont know why she never thinks about anyone else, but she is the ultimate meaning of speaking just to hear yourself talk. in order to figure out things, i need to hear myself figure it out..i mean when something pisses me off, at first i dont know why, but to argue with someone and tell them how i feel about it often times lets me get my aggravation out and figure out whats bothering me, because alot of times it doesnt really seem to be a reasonable reason for irritation. after i am done getting upset though, im okay again. and its just my way of venting. it makes me feel better. its just i wish other people could be like that, i can argue and then be done with it, other people drag things on after i have already gotten over my anger. if there was another way to get it out, i would try it. but writing it doesnt seem to do anything. i have to let the person know how i feel. i am hungry, i barely ate yesterday. i decorated another sweatshirt and put "fight war, not wars..destroy power, not people" on the back and am working on adding this pretty green material to the hood. its very nice, i think i will be infatuated with it for the next few weeks. my reason for making is because i need a thinner sweatshirt to wear and i like having my sweatshirts all themed and decorated. i went to a rave rave rave with stephen and karin on friday.it was very fun. me and karin danced until we were drenched in sweat- people kept asking us if we were rolling..it was funny. there were 2 rooms, actually one was outside and one was inside. it was very fun, i would go to another one with stephen. cierra went to but i'd hardly say i went with her because she just sat on the couch and talked the whole time. she doesnt dance. not dancing shows alot about character, she cares a bit too much about what others think about her. she's always containing herself. everyone there was very friendly, we met alot of people. they were all so nice. this one girl told me she thought i was cute, and we kept dancing with this one asian guy. karin gave him her number. i played tag with this one guy with bright blue fuzzy pants. i want some except they should be bright purple. and this other guy kept trying to get me to go to more raves. hopefully he was successful, because i had alot of fun, and even though techno isnt my music, i really like to dance and be around friendly people. stephen is a really fun person to be around. olivia and ian might be comming over today. i hope they come. -commander pixey