so this is myself...typing my entry in keyboarding class. and this is myself..reading naproxenslut..diary of before and most of sophomore year. and this is myself...obsessing over past experiences..and this is myself..not understanding myself in present day. how i got myself into situation z. that is what i will call it. situation z. i couldn't write in this until i had finished catching up on my written past, so i have finished that..now i can create a written future. or should i say a different written past? it really doesnt matter. situation z is a bad one. i have never gotten myself into a situation z before. i am older and wiser..but yet i get myself into a situation z. a situation z is more probable to younger people around ages 12 to 15. Only because of the lesser experiences in situations that are related to situation z...which we will call situation s. situation s is a situation i do not mind being in..and it has always worked out for me so far that i have been just dandy in my situation s. but this time....it is becoming more and more apparent each day that i am in situation z. i don't want to be in situation z..but even when i am out of situation z...there will be no situation s and i will be scared from that point on that what i think is situation s will turn into a situation z. so now i just have these situation z thoughts lurking around my head like a zillion little ants plunging into the infinance that is my mind. and that is my story. rugged malfunctions of the heart and brain can cause some pretty infectuous problems within the body.