where am i going with it? where is it going?.... does it really have to be going anywhere? was it ever going anywhere to begin with? it makes me happy for the moment, isnt that enough? thats what it is all really about. marriage is a long way out. who knows how long it might last...but for the moment, its great. experiencing other things would be good. but i feel like theres still something worth saving. i know one day i'll either want out or have no choice..but its not now. everything that ends leads up to something great. but i trust him. i just feel like hes what i need right now to get me through stuff. my problems arent big or anything, mostly psychological. but sometimes you need someone there. im not ready for another big chance to get used to. time will change everything...and i'd prefer it if we just grew apart slowly. no one with unmutual feelings. to say love is not mutual is a lie...every relationship has different circumstances and there is no black and white. anytime you say an absolute truth you will be contradicting yourself because there is no black in white. every absolute truth is a generalization about something. it shouldnt be said. but it is...and i guess it needs to be said. but wisdom is the ability to recognize that there is no truth..that every situation demands different truths and advice. i am disagreeing. disagreeing with every generalization ever made even if it has held true my whole life. my life is a zygote of time. its nothing. especially the life i've currently lived. my years havent taught me even close to all there is to know. things change over time. no truths can be true if things are always changing. contradiction will always be the key.