its odd how time passes, and things change and sometimes we don't really mind but we are so very well equiped with the ability to hate the movement of life. we are able to self-destruct. and not like a machine would.but through a very well thought out process. little things mean everything to us and specific events probably are thought about more then they should be because everytime we think about them its making them more important. its always about your own life, though. everything we do is only within our capacity.what whoever or whatever gave us the abilities to do. i wish to be like an animal and to stop having these complex emotions. but time happens.and we dont even see it or expect it to...and then we are stuck relating things like a broken keyboard to the moment when something horrible has happened to us. in our lives. something that really isnt as horrible as the death of 100,000 people, right? except as for the 100,000 peple who died, its reallynot that bad for them. they are dead. and as for me, my emotions cause me unexplainable pain. as for the 100,000 people's families. they are in pain. because they lost someone. just like i lost someone. death and heartbreak. all pain is really in the same category.and i feel bad that we are so horribly smart. destruction of my insides, destruction of a chunk of lands insides. physically, emotionally. destruction is beauty and beauty is evil.