i don't want to be a good person.i don't want to be helpful anymore. the tsunami is beautiful. i don't know what my morals are. everything that happens is meant to happen. and everything is alive and mistreated and then dies. some things worse then others. and anything i can do is carefully controlled. i just don't feel like trying to protest against this awful cruel world anymore. i don't really care. as for being vegan, i am not sure what i believe anymore. that electrons are alive thing really got me there. i can't protest against the mistreatment of everything. and no matter how much i think something is wrong theres nothing i can do about it. problems are what everybody needs. i used to want to fight them and feel like i am helping. now i'd just prefer to watch. and laugh at how really shitty everything is. things scare me. and it ruins my whole life. things hurt me. and it ruins my whole life. i don't want to play anymore, i just want to watch. but as for being vegan. i think milk and meat are gross. so i won't eat them.