you can disown anything. i want to write entries about what you can do. because you can do anything. and this one is in relation to, and perhaps long distance relations to how you and i can disown whatever we'd like. we own certain things. like our socks and our shoes, and we can throw those out the window whenever we'd like. and our emotions. we can disown them when we want. by going out of consciousness or ingesting something that inverts or extroverts us into the place we'd most like to be at the moment. its not always safe, because sometimes their will be some guy riding a horse with a black coat smiling at you and saying, "you know you're going to die.". and we can't get away from that. but when thats all over, and we are at a place in time where serenity holds itself up over fear, thats when we can look at him and smile back. i've had a very love-filled weekend. and i've continuously gone back and forth between states of anxiety and states of uncomprehendable beauty. if my future is predetermined, i need to feel it every single shitty time my palms feel sweaty or i want to die and its meant to happen. and in the end, i'll smile.