no seriously,just make me cry please. i deserve it. its my fault i trusted him in the first place.i vowed to myself that i would never trust another person,and look at me now. it bothers me,sure. but the thing that really gets to me is the shame that i have for myself. he was like all the others,and i was stupid enough to buy his bullshit. stupid me. everybody else bought my bullshit,and they still do,but i just got beat at my own game. im so tired of being a playtoy for other people.i really am.everybody uses me,and what happened today just proves my point that i am simply a loser. i mean,i did lose at my own game didn't i? but from now on i will win.nobody will interfere with anymore. i swore i would never cry over something as stupid as a boy. but technically i'm not,because its more over myself and why i ever crossed my boundaries of trust. its ok,i'm just going to dig a hole and sit in the darkness like i've been doing for the past year and a half.