i am now 18 years old. for so many months and years i waited to be of age so i could have more control over my life, & yet i seem to be even more out of touch with reality than i ever was. my life is not spiraling downward,but i guess you could say its on hold. i should have appreciated my family as much as i do now. if only they knew how much i love them....but theres no going back. now i must rest in in the grave bed i made for myself. they said i could come back,but to what? in the end i left them for the man i love. i love him and my family so dearly.... but at the same time being in Sin City is not the place i want to be. not the things i want to see. NOT the life i envisioned. the only reason i am here is because my heart lies here. that should be why, shouldn't it?