I've always wondered why I'm such a negative person. Sometimes I'll even wonder why the only kind of people attracted to me are druggies and suicidal kids. fuckkkk im some comedian. I really thought about it,and the reason druggies and suicidal kids are attracted to me is because.....i have that reputation as well. Which is pretty ok with me most of the time,but only if i was still doing drugs,because i always get offers to go smoke,& it breaks my heart everytime i have to turn down the one substance that takes me away from my thoughts. no one knows how shitty i feel right now. I want a kilo of the finest kush ever made. I want a billion shots of gin lined up in front of me waiting for me to consume. I want 12342134231412423412 cartons of Marlboro 27's. I want a million syringes with heroin inside of it. I want coke,I want speed,I want qualuuds,I want valium,vicoden,demerol. Anything that will do anything and everything to make sure I am unaware of whats happening around me. Anything that will scream to me-"Hey baby,let me take your mind and replace it with a couple hours of bliss. thats all i fucking want. a couple of fucking hours with all the drugs and alcohol in the world. & then a couple of hours will turn into a couple of days,and then a couple of weeks,the a couple of months and so on. I WANT TO BLAST MY FUCKING BRAINS INTO OBLIVION. i wish you could understand,but you just FUCKING CAN'T. and if you think im a bitch,umm three words-- I fucking know. So FUCK you and FUCK your stupid friends on the dance team that think your so fucking great. get a stick and shove it up your ass.