yeah. so nick is a liar. he told hilary that she's beautiful, and told me that he thinks she's ugly. good job, you fucking liar. it's really cute. but as much as i dislike myself. i can do a shitload better than you. someone that'll feed me bullshit lies. and turn around on me for another girl that caused us problems. *shakes head* you were a waste of fucking time. just like kirby. you made me feel amazing, turned around, and left. all for another fucking girl. *claps hands* congratulations, sweetheart. today is keith's 14th birthday. i started my period today. which sucks. and i think today's one of those "sleep in" days. i'm depressed, but i'm not showing it much. i slept in like crazy. until like, six? and i had nightmares all night. maybe this has to do with the nick thing. or maybe the period thing. either way, i hate it. i hate nick. he lied to me. and he hurt me. and yeah. i hate liars. so fuck you, nick perry. i'm sorry i ever cared about you. and i mean that. you know, this really does fuck me up. i think about all the fucking talks we had, all the times we hungout, just.. everything. and i'm going to miss it. and i'm going to have breakdowns over it. but how he is, how he acts, how he lies.. it's gonna piss me off. and it's gonna make me pissed at myself for giving a shit about him, and i'm gonna end up hurting myself over it because i'd be pissed at myself. i hate this situation. and to be honest, i regret meeting hilary and nick. they deserve each other. since he "doesn't like her," yet they talk all the time now and he tells her shit and tells her how beautiful she is. it's just how he got with me. telling me shit like that. telling me bullshit like that. i regret letting him in my pants. yeah, i really fucking dislike them both. when i woke up this morning, my house smelled like shit because my mom forgot about some food she was cooking. i had cramps. and had had nightmares. this isn't my morning. moving's a big thing. i just hope we get a decent house in an okay neighborhood. the neighborhood usually doesn't screw me over, it's the house thing that does. i hate really small houses, but i'm used to ghetto neighborhoods. i can't wait to get my own room. and to get away from decatur woods. and to get back in school to see everyone. so i can get my mind off of nick and hilary. they'll be in the same school. they'll be dating. they'll be fucking. and i hope they both die. gr. i hate myself. i hate you. i don't know why i keep adding on to this. but if he reads this, he's going to be like, "i never did lie to you, cathy. that's bullshit." really now? "i'll never do anything to hurt you, cathy. nothing at all." explain that.