the all day update. [social studies, third period, 934am.] I NEED TO BE HELD. i really wish i felt better. with brandon leaving and everyone else being gone. missy's a good person, but she won't make up for keith or brandon. i wish this whole bryan thing never happened and he moved to indy. i'm sick of guys and i don't care about this cody thing. i'm falling behind in school and lacking sleep horribly. my nose is fucked, i sneeze constantly, and my voice is going out. i'm pretty sick. &it's not even cold yet. matt reminds me of winter, even though winter's a few months away. it makes me want to talk to him, but he's such a different person now. or maybe he was always this person, he was just a good faker. i don't know. people are good actors anymore. i'm starting to get worse and i'd rather not end up in a doctors office again. just when i thought things were looking up. my life is like a roller coaster. &i don't think i'm going to like it until the ride's over. ps- i hate it when guys wear pink. [algreba, period five, 1045am.] this is so fucking confusing. i was a totally different person not but two periods ago. maybe it's because i'm on my period. or because i care one minute and don't the next. but now i can't stop being nice to people. bi-polar? my god. i think science genuinely makes me better. the teacher's a total bitch, but she doesn't care about anything, and she really just talks the whole time, even if you're talking. travis and tritt sit next to me, and we all get along so well and laugh at everything. it really makes me feel better. there's nothing great about algreba. we grade homework and do more work afterwards. i haven't even turned my homework in. because it's not done. spark's next. and that class is stupid. really fast too. but it's okay. for some reason, i can't wait until lunch to see everyone. yesterday's lunch was horrible because i hadn't had any sleep, and i was cranky. i can't wait to get that fucking camera. picture day is tuesday. reminder. [afterschool. 315pm.] missy's hanging out with me for the day. we're locked out at the moment. mom's on her way home. and brandon has my key. oompa's coming over too. and now we're inside. and oompa's here. i love these girls. i'm in a better mood, yet i'm still upset. but i'm better for now. i'm not going to josh's today. or smoking. i feel like smoking a cigarette right now. so i am. which is definitely fucking gross. but i'm gonna finish it. listening to music with two amazing girls. yeah. having chick friends is nice. i think i'm going to my sister's with my mom today for a bit. talking about boys now. how nice. [now.] i'm home. went to sheena's, got my key, saw brandon and bryan, and oompa and missy just left. i wish brandon wasn't such a guy. we flirt too much. today wasn't the best. but i'm really fucking tired. it's not even nine. and i have a project due tomorrow. along with eleven pages of other homework. i'm not up for it. so i'll go to sleep now, and get up around five thirty, get ready, and do it. mhm.