it's hard to sleep. it's hard to not cry. it's hard to eat. being inlove has never hurt this bad. not even with kirby. bryan means the world, the whole fucking universe, to me. he is my universe. i don't give a fuck who megan is. if she's great or not. or if he loves her. i told him when we met to not fall inlove with me. he should have fucking listened. we wouldn't be here. i wouldn't be here. he could give a fuck less. all that matters is megan. you know what. fuck megan. he lied to me about liking her, he lied to me. he fucking lied. he's like all other boys. i'm fucking destroyed. i never mean to sound emo, but i'm a total fucking wreck. i need him. i fucking need him. i need him to be inlove with me so i know i'm okay. so i know that my future will happen. i flipped out. i cut. i drank. i smoked pot. i took pills. i cried my fucking eyes out. i shouldn't fucking look like that. or fucking feel like that. i feel ugly. worthless. pathetic. depressed. difficult. and fucking hurt. i woke up crying, and i haven't stopped since. since seven in the goddamned morning. fuck this. fuck love. fuck megan. fuck california. fuck writing. fuck roadtrips. fuck max the ape. fuck fight club. fuck the pixies. fuck jefferson airplane. fuck everything that reminds me of you. but most of all;; fuck you.