i know nobody reads this anymore. i barely even use it. but i'm gonna continue to update it. so i can remember my childhood incase something fucked up happens to me and i forget everything. school is amazing and it saves me. if i'm shitty, i'll go to sleep, and wake up for school the next day all happy and ready to go. my teachers are decent, and i wouldn't care if they're mean because i still have friends there. each day i realize how extremely popular i am and it almost scares me because i was never THIS popular. but i'm trying to be nice to everyone, even if i don't like them. instead of choir, they put me in dazzle, which is an advanced choir group. twenty girls. we get four concerts a year, plus contests. i've remembered my locker, locker combination, classes, and teachers within a week. it's the first weekend and i already miss it. i went against what i thought i'd do and have continued to smoke pot even though school has started. not that it kills me or makes me stupid, it just makes me forget and pay attention moreso than usual. i'm not good at paying attention during school because i'll go off and start thinking of something creative to do with a house or room or picture. but if i'm high, then i'll pay attention to whoever's talking, which is hard during school because a lot of people talk. the whole bryan thing is pretty much the same. he's with megan, i'm with nobody, and i'm still inlove. i wish this wasn't real love, and i could realize it, but i know the truth, and the truth hurts, right? i'm done with dealing with it, and i'm done with trying to think about it, because what's done is done. i'm trying to move on this year. we'll see. family wise, a lot of bullshit will happen and pass. mom and i have our fights nearly every night, and then we'll be fine the next day. sheena works too much and so does steve. they seem to be different right now. keith and oompa stayed the night last night. we smoked pot and the like. i love nights like that. friends and medication. chris is moving, and it's weird. i still think about the whole kevin thing quite a lot because i hear the word meth too fucking much anymore. if it isn't in school then it's at home. i'm too hungry. [i wish i had time to sit down and really update this thing and post pictures.] i know i say that a lot. but i really do mean it. take care.