i don't kno what to do anymore... i've been feeling so alone lately... i remember when me and lance used to talk on the fone each nite... now we maybe talk once or twice a week... me and hayley even used to talk alot... and now we don't... well we talk.. but not as much, it seems.... same for me and amanda... and i still remember the nite peter and henry came over to watch movies... cuz that same day.. amanda had wanted to do something with me.. and so had lance and hayley... and i remembered that i wanted to hang out with all of them.. but couldn't.... and now... i haven't gone out in so long... except for friday nite, with amanda and laura, and sara... but that wasn't much fun... and.. i just miss everybody... and then... all this shit going on with jason.. i just... i don't kno what to do bout it... i mean i love the kid like crazy... and he.. he keeps leaving me... and i can't let him go... I CAN'T FUCKIN LET HIM GO... and last nite i actually talked to him a bit... i told him that i needed him... and i couldn't live without him.. and he still left... and EVERYTHING i said last nite was true... cuz i wouldn't lie to him.. specially since i don't like lies anyways... but i mean... i need that guy.... and he keeps fuckin leaving me... i almost started crying again last nite... but i guess he doesn't even care... but god.. i need him SO MUCH... and he doesn't even believe me... and in the end... he says 'now i just don't wanna talk to you anymore... forever' and... god.. i don't fuckin kno... i don't kno if i kno anything anymore.... but i'm not giving up... i'll give him air.. i'll let him breathe.. but I'M NOT GIVING UP...