Well now, I have no idea what happened to the first love of my life. It seams that he has dropped from this Earth. I miss that lost love of mine. Love in a way. I will always love Sean. he was sweet and everything I could ever want for my first, well my first everything. The last time I talked to Sean things were said. Things that I know were not true. I never meant to hurt you Sean. I will always love you. Though i know if you saw me now, you wouldn't want to beleive i am the same innicent girl you fell in love with all those years ago. I am everything you said I would turn out to be that last night. Lost and afraid in this fucked up life. I miss talking to you, and hearing about your day. I miss laughing with you. Most of all I miss the friendship we shared. I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for all the fucked up things I said and did. I miss you Sean and I wish you the best. There are things I want to know, like; what did you do with your life? Where do you live now? Are you married? Any kids?? i don't know if you still read this, or even if you are still alive. But i am doing alright. I have a full time job, a buetiful little girl, i am in the military and loving it, I am "seeing" someone new. i hope all is well with you. Love ALWAYS Melissa

Hello everyone! What's new with me??? Well I am getting divorced, how fun is that. I am working, but not making enough money (story of my life). I am "seeing" someone new. What can I say, the guys really hott! I won't name names, but he knows he hott! Anywho, I am probably going to be moving here shortly. I need a new place that will be a lot cheaper. Probably gonna move in with Daddy until I can get on my feel. Should be fabulous. I finally talked to Pas that other day, she's doing well. Which makes me happy. My ukrainian lover's all growed up. Married and all. How awesome is that?? Well that's all I am gonna put for one day. Comment if you like. Mel

Hello everyone! What's new with me??? Well I am getting divorced, how fun is that. I am working, but not making enough money (story of my life). I am "seeing" someone new. What can I say, the guys really hott! I won't name names, but he knows he hott! Anywho, I am probably going to be moving here shortly. I need a new place that will be a lot cheaper. Probably gonna move in with Daddy until I can get on my feel. Should be fabulous. I finally talked to Pas that other day, she's doing well. Which makes me happy. My ukrainian lover's all growed up. Married and all. How awesome is that?? Well that's all I am gonna put for one day. Comment if you like. Mel

Hi everybody! Well now, what's going on today? Well I am at work (story of my life) though I can't really complain, I get to play on the computer all day and get paid for it. Now don't you want my job. Plus I get to play the big bad wolf with a gun. Mwahahahaha, who want's to come and play! Today is another one of those days. I am starting to get tired, I've lost my caffine buzz, and I don't have any more coffee :(. Oh well 4 hours and 45 minutes to go. This weekend wasn't that bad, I didn't really do much. Today my little punky monkey is 7 months old. She's such a cutie pie. The funniest thing happened a couple weeks ago. I saw the guy I had a crush on for 7 years at a gas station. Hehe, he's still pretty hott! What can I say, old crushes die hard. Yeah, I didn't say anything. I don't know if he even reconized me, probably. I don't think I look that different, plus my best friend lives across the street from his parents. There's no escaping me mwahahaha. Nah just kidding. I want to go clubbing and get smashed, that would be pretty cool. Who likes to party (I do I do). I need to get hold of all three of my best friends. Billy bob watch out spanky's coming. I miss Will, it's been too long since we've hung out. Actually we stopped hanging out when I got pregnant with the bug. He works a different schedule than I do. And then there's Ted. It's still a little weird hanging out at his house. I mean, once you date someone's brother, there isn't much you can do. His brother is still hott. What's funny is, if I really wanted to I could have him anytime. Don't tell the hubby that, he might not want me to go over there anymore. Plus Pas, who could forget her. I havn't spoken with her for a while. She's never online anymore. WTF how am I sapossed to get ahold of her now. I miss her, she needs to come and see me sometime. Alaska is just too far away. But it's a small military so we are bound to see eachother again someday. Well now, the question of the day is, how do you keep in touch with those hard to reach friends?

Hello kids, Spanky here in the horendous mind of the one and only me. Well now I am so bored right now, I just wanna sleep. The problem is, I am at work right now. But tomorrow is a short day, yayyy! Six and a half hours tomorrow (spanky does a little dance). Nah just kidding, though it would be pretty funny to see an armed security gaurd dancing around in the main lobby of a state owned building. Now picture that in your mind. I get off in two hours. I am just sooo bored right now. What is a girl to do, lol. Well I am gonna go and sing my little song in my fu***d up mind. Bye now Mel

Isn't my life just so much fun? Well where to begin? Spanky got married. Yup Spanky married Kelly, it's been almost a year since I got married. I have a buetiful daughter named Zoe, she's six months. I am so confussed. I still have STRONG feelings for Dan. I don't think they will ever go away. I don't know what's wrong with me! In my everyday life, I work 40-50 hours a week and play the part of the loving wife. In my mind, i think about another man constently. I just gave up on Dan and tried to move on. It isn't working. I am still head over heels in love with Danny boy. What is a girl to do? I am 21 years old and I suport my husband and child. Kelly's a great father, and a ok husband. If you have any advice for Spanky's twisted little worl, I really need it. Mel

Well hello there. mwahahahaha, I can't beleive I fell for it. Last night Dan got a nice little topless picture of me. yeah, damn him. I hope he doesn't show anyone that pic, that would really suck! And now I have to seriously have to kick that nice a** of his. lol, yeah. He keeps on rubbing it in, grrrrrr! Some men anyway! Hopefully I'll be able to go and see him. Damn, I'm gonna get it ;) Well hell, I better go, loves Mel

Hi hello, yeah I'm in a pretty bad mood today. I kinda fucked up again, no surprise there. Yeah, this sucks! I kinda messed everything up with Dan again. What the hell was I thinking? Why did I do it again. Dan I love you more then words can say, you're the love of my life! My eyes are for you and only you. You're all I could ever want, and will ever want. No man can compete. Oh well, like I could ever say this to his face. I'm such a chicken. Oh well, it's off to shine my boots for drill. Bye now. Love Mel

Hey hey, well now, guess what! Spanky kinda got herself in a little perdicament. Well hmmmm, where do I begin? Well I met Ted's bass player,oh yeah, he's pretty hott, and I kinda made out with him. Well now that I think about it, I have no idea why I did make out with him. I kinda liked his roomate Kelly. Oops, well I didn't know that Kelly liked me back, if I would have known, I wouldn't have made out with Owen. Damn this sucks! So now, if I did ever have a chance with Kelly, I probably don't have a chance now. Damn, this sucks! Well I think I'm gonna go, Pas if you read this "ya achu yabatsa," miss you mu ukranian lover. Love Mel

Hello, I'm almost done with my boring ass army training. I can't wait until I get the hell out of Virginia! And back home to Utah. Well I like Richmond, so it's not that bad, I just hat Ft Lee. One of the things I'm gonna miss is partying with Olena, Victor, and Rhetta. It's ok though I'm gonna visit Victor and Rhetta in Gremany, and Olena in Alaska. Plus I need to throw a Dan visit in there somewhere. Well i gotta go now. Bye

Hello everyone! Well I would just like to take some time aside and say I'm truely sorry for all the people in New Orleans. If you have family there, I'll pray for them. And if you've lost family there, I'll pray for you. Aside from that I'm doing ok-. I had fun yesterday hanging with Tim (Boswell) damn he's a cutie. Anywho, yeah he mad me feel good yesterday. He gave me a lot of hugs which made me feel great! I really like him. I don't know why I feel this way. Back home I wouldn't have really given him much thought. I think being here has taught me a lot of things. Good things. But then again I've had to realize how i really am. What type of person I was back home, and when I need to do to change into the person I want to be. I want to be a better person. I want to go to church, and create a stronger connection with me and God. I want to grow up without really growing up. I want to go to school and get a degree. I want to become an officer. The thing with Tim is, he inspires me to do more with my life. He inspires me to do better. It's like being around him made me realize the life I want. I know I want him in it, weather it's as a friend or, who knows maybe more. Well I'm gonna go now. Bye Loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel

Well hello there. Spanky here writing for the fabulous Ft Lee VA. I'm doing great! And who the hell are you to judge me? This is for the moron who decided there life is so much better tna mine by calling me a jackass. If you're gonna talk shit, at least have the decency to leave your name that way I can show you what talking shit is really about. You would defanitely think twice before adding your fucked up input on something you know absolutely nothing about. Anywho, I finished basic training on July 29th it was great, there's nothing like a buch of drill sergents in your face. Now I'm going through my AIT training. It's not that bad. I'm going to graduatre October 26th and then it's off to Utah I go. I'm currently singel, but that may change in a little bit. I have my eye on a certain Utah Reservist that happened to go through basic with me and is currently going through AIT with me. He's a cool guy, a mormon, but still cool. Any way time to go. For whomever decided to make a stupid comment on my diary, all I can say is. bring it. Bye now loves Mel