Today really sucks! Amanda is being depressed and wanting to die. I am really pissed about it. I am sooo sick of all this depressed shit going on, I mean I have my own depressed thoughts to worry about without putting other people's on my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it if people come to me for advice, I just get sick of, well actually I don't really know anymore. I like being there for Amanda, it's just getting harder now a days. Ever since we grew up, it's like we have grown apart. I mean, it seams that Amanda only calls when she is having troubles in her life. Like that is all I am good for. I never get a phone call, "just to say hi." It's like I am just one big pillow that can be brought out when ever times are hard. Who knows, maybe I am looking at things in a wrong way, maybe I need to think of better things. Damn it, it's like depression is contagous. I don't need this right now, this is one of the few days that I am 100% happy, out-going, fun-loving Melissa. Or at least I was. Well I guess I am off to listen to some GC and cheer up, later peoples. Mel