well its 2am.and up just cuz ... there is rlly nothing to do and im burning out hard :( i realized that its febuary 1st !!! a special day for some one i think...?? jk ... HAppy b-Day claire Bear!! well on with the show it begins... ya im pretty done here... until next time

My fucking arm hurts so much it all like scabby, and bloody... its from a few wweks ago with such retarded things i did or tried to do. For instince at first i was just roaming around the mall drunk ... then found some friends and got high and drunk. Then i heard that i was pushing shopping carts infront of taxi cabs, asking out random girlz, then running into glass windows to see if they break luckily i did not break any windows. But i remember some one saying that they were getting a tattoo and i really want one so me not thinking about anything i was doing got some ink a lighter and a knife and tried to carve some thing in my arm that looks like a C i dont kno wHAT THE HELLL i was think... To who ever is reading this this must sound pertty retarded and yes it is ... man i really need to easy up on the drugz and liquor and combining them. i am so bored right now i wanna go out wondering but the problem is there really aint any were i want to go... every one else is prolly sleeping i would not doubt it Oh man earlier i was playing mario party 5... its the worst game i have ever played. i preferd all the others . The only thing i like dabout number 5 is that u could pick BOO as a playable character, all the games are such crap. It was a waste of money to rent. I cant wait till final fantasy 10 part 2 comes out just to try it, it cant be as bad as number 10 cuze that 1 was way 2 easy it basically lead u right threw the whole game it was shit in my opinion. right now i am so bored i wish a had like a potato launcher just cuze it could be fun to shoot at random things. soon i am prolly going to bed and watch some ed the sock the show is so great cuze he is a sock with green hair. Actually i am going to go out now fuk school who needs it... not me i am a smart kid:P...lol jk more like i suffered from brain trauma

woooo what a waste friends are like seriously, friends just say for the most part what u want to hear, cause drama and such as well i wish i could live anonymously but then life would be borring would be death . some things in life i will never understand love is a trap, life is a tease, joy is a wonder ive never even seen

every inspiration comes within dream, the timing and places with all the faces seen, falling every foot step when beautys in ur grasp, taunting every emotion, as shes waiting till you crash. hollow through thy crisp heart as feelings bestow to thy under relms for tainted feelings corrupt thy every thought. ascending through this uknown place unhesitant to call out grims unforgiving face, a plague of demise shall enchant thy skies to turn their howilling cries into a bloody demise.

living beyond this plain dimension, escaping reality for its a bore, crawling into a vacant whole, motion is endless till thy last breath, for dreams have left from their own shells, a distant memorial in their relief, for one carring for thy deceased. a touch, a kiss, which cant be graspd, an event of emotions, which lay thicker than ash.

im kinda confused and tired! i wonder whats in store for tmr? ???

arghh me head kilzz pass me them pain killerz! ... would any one like some banana soup :P

ya so im bored doin the usual, watchin some tv ....borrring except now there is a steven segal movie on ^_^ i wish i could do the shit he dose, some krazy kung fu... i love how in his movies how he pretty much does what ever he pleases, hes like hey how about i just kill these 2 guyz and then lets get lunch.... haha crazy basterd i bet u he could take over a small country :P...lol lol im gonan go pull some segal on my bro

last night i had the most weird of weird dreams ive ever had! i was at some kinda formal party, and i was in this tuxedo, and then this girl i no took me to this small room, and for some reason i was holding her up and she said " dont be afriad to love" and then she gave me a hug and left....and then i was walking down some stairs and i started to do flips. then my buddy was like wow uve had 2 much then all of a sudden i was drunk, and i passed out, lol then i woke up i was kinda confused i was like wow am i rlly afraid to love....

first happy poem ive ever written proly the last 2 prolly aint my best, not even that good lol "happy ending* Happines manufactured within thy heart, a true emotion left apart, growing silent within a dream, Affection is all thats been seen. Filtering pain left all alone, kicked outside what once was known. Below the surface at 1000 degrees Thy heart shall lay in comfort, far from fridgid seas. a warmpth like no other, When gazing upon such breath taking beauty, as words become a studer. To speak these words of up most compassion, the sounds of harmoy ringing boundless in thy eardrums. A special bond between two in love, to end it all in matramony.

i call it "Running Hollow" Sins run hollow, through out thy soul, well factoring life, for the stories UN told. Tainted flesh, with a twisted smile, a vacant look, well swimming in denial. A rusty dagger to reach inside thy upper breast To collect thy heart in protest. Abomination to all who cry, for devastation will be your last lullaby. Love and death are to a like, For once one withers, A new birth awakes. For happiness shall never last, But likely end in tragedies hour glass. well laughing and taunting till his last breath, The Reaper is waiting to do what he knows best,Make it easy and it will be quick, A flash of fighting till you no longer exist.

charmin .... huh it was random so....be it A vacant mind, Set off inside, To find essence of beauty, Once left behind. Inspite of life, A will to let go, To take a path so well known, To a foreign place forever unknown. Upon the hill side A hollow wind whispers, " A death be silent, A death be quick, Heavens a wonder, That makes me sick." A place of great memories, Where one wishes to be, A day in the past, Which shall never be seen.

Ya ive spent so much time writing this omg :P ^_^ its 4am, and i wish i was doing more :P although i shoudl prolly go to sleep, goin to a huge party tmr "concluding the end" For a time in crisis, When laughter grows silent, A pain like no other, Well sanity grows grim. When you're drowning in your tears, For the fire in your heart has vanquished, And you're left on your own, Betrayed by life and everything you've known. A place like no other, Where you'd never want to be, Death would be much easier, If that was a possibility. Shackled within reality, As false as it may seem, Death shall be silent, As you can never redeem. Depression isn't easy to fight away from, A nemesis of happiness, For the war is never done. On the verge of happiness, As it seems so far away, Going the distance, To live a happy day! hope any one enjoys..not like it matterz

"depressions happy ending " For in these lips that wish to smile, A broken heart well left in denial. Another day, Another frown, Another heart laying on the ground. upon this night as love shall cry, blood shall hail from the sky, life shall fall in eternil bliss, but love as we no it will never die. mixed voices soon to speak, insanity well growing at its peak, uncontroled well becoming weak, Too pull the trigger would be a treat.

ya so im prety bored... just finished doing stupid math hw now.... im fukin bored!!!, well I guess you cant expect 2 much more at 3 am :P well im bored and i wrote a poem.. &..... this...is...how...it............goes! ”Tragedies Society” Death be silent, And it may be quick, A relentless wonder, But just a trick To question existence, But to wonder why, To live this life within a lullaby, For being blind affects more than the eye. A lack of confidence, Well willing to die, So unsure, Well living a lie. A tainted heart, A blinded eye, A reckless mind, Spells tragedy inside! enjoy ^_^

i was bored so i was like i will write something, this is how it goes "That Black rose within" Piercing through this tattered skin, A blackened rose taints all within. Upon thy dream to wish to love, A broken heart is all thy got. Upon thy stars to wish to wish, To be granted this special kiss. Upon the dusk one shall wait, Well time is never ending, for you shall catch your chance for its your fate. As these razor sharp thorns re-emerge, Twisting and ripping through life’s threshold, Misery has taken over as insanity roams within, For the mind under pressure corrupts in sin. Under stress without a cure, Freaking out to convolute unsure. For heart breaks and migraines are but a bore, For now I suffer from riga-mortus's death toll.

oh man i cant wait for turkey dinner, even tho its only 3am lol well then again ive been drinkin since like 6 pm i think i have no.... idea or grammer:P man...wasted thats all ther is to say i ish there was a huge jam like last night

last night i had to go to the hospital, it suxed so much.... goddamn asma attack the first one i had a while bak was almost fatal so, they can be pretty hectic things :P you no almost dying and all but in the end i live

mixed emotions are driving me insane ,to love, to cry, to wish to die. when loving some one so much yet they dont no... but is it better off that way? when they are takin. it feels like im always falling down i thought being depressed was bad, but suffering from anxiety is like awhole nother world of pain... i alwasy think somethings going wrong or im dying even tho im perfectly fine.... .....i just want...... to be loved

Oh ya ... havent been here for long time!!! so ya im pretty much fuckin done highschool... :P minus the factor im one credit short. meh there is night school ... .... ..... Yup! ....... .... so not much has happend this summer except chillin with people and ...chillin? so ya soon just cuz i can im getting a lizard and calling him jim and i want to see him eat shit it would just be cool... eat some mushrooms ! and a lizard is so wicked especially if are holding it and runs ....