I wish i could get these feelings out but yet i could not do that in person which i intended to do, but in truth i no i am afraid As well would be rejected as am by many people. yet such feelings have slowly been destroying me. i condem love as i am not capable of such a thing for all is lost and will not be brung back i wish i could restart life all over and could undo what has been done. i wish i never went to notre dame fucking school for i wish i had not met most people i have for in truth the hate inside just builds. i wish i could type this with out seeming crazy becouse in truth i hate what i have become, for at heart it is not me, what happend to the days of enjoying just being with friends and for me i was actually the loving type but now such thinbgs are no longer for i grow cold and grim i wish i could let out all that burdens me, but yet it burdens me no longer and i have yet to understand what brings pain to me for i still dont no. at first it was cuz i liked some girl as we say a crush and every one new who it was! and for all i shall announce it was so obvious it was you claire yet i new there would be no chemistry there for yet so uncompatible. and yet my feelings still could not let go. it lasted for far to long. i was going to ask her out last summer never got around to that becouse daiel did first then scott then i kinda lost interest then not then i did again. but i cant understand if i had such great feelings for her why didnt i ask her out. for the sign of love always prevails through out all darkness. for yet i get confused Honestly i am so pained, as if i have already commited suicide with out doing so. i have already died on the inside. I guess life has gotten to me and has proven to be a failure... if any can understand for it makes much sense i am just i no i am rambling and going on and on but i just cant express my self i am just so corrupted right now. i wish i could take back all time and remove my self off such a place for i feel as if i have already been condemend to hell. i think that maybe i am punishing my self for all my faults which arnt listed for they would be a list, i guess i shall go soon and reflect upon my life. i wish i coudl kill my slef but in that i accomplish nuthing other than being nuthing more than a failure. the only thing i look forward 2 is getting my tatto soon... even that shall show my true pain